Finding Balance Between Joy and Jealousy Through Journaling

After spending the past few days talking about grief, fear, identity, and insomnia, it feels like a breath of fresh air to bring in a little joy. But let’s not sugarcoat it—joy isn’t always simple. Especially when it gets tangled up with things like jealousy, or gets buried under the noise of life, only to resurface when we sit down quietly with a pen and paper.

Let’s talk about these three things that seem so different but often walk hand in hand.

 

Joy: Not Loud, but Deep

 

Joy doesn’t always come with fireworks. Sometimes, it’s a quiet cup of chai after a long day. Sometimes, it’s the way the sunlight hits your floor at 4 p.m. Or how a song you haven’t heard in years suddenly plays and takes you back to a forgotten version of yourself.

But here’s the tricky part: joy can make us feel guilty. Especially when we’ve been struggling. When we’re anxious or grieving or overwhelmed, joy can feel like a luxury we don’t deserve.
Here’s the truth though—joy isn’t a reward. It’s a need.
Our brains and bodies aren’t built to live in fight-or-flight mode 24/7. We’re not designed to constantly be “fixing” ourselves. We need joy the way plants need sunlight.

So I often tell my clients—and myself too: Don’t wait for joy. Make room for it.
Make a joy list. Collect small moments. Create a “this made me smile today” jar. Laugh at silly reels. Watch a comfort movie for the hundredth time. And most importantly—let yourself feel good without feeling bad about it.

 

 

Jealousy: The Uninvited Guest

 

Let’s be real—jealousy is not a fun emotion. It doesn’t feel noble or kind. It usually creeps in quietly when you least expect it. Like when your friend gets that opportunity you’ve been dreaming of, or when someone’s relationship looks too perfect on Instagram.

But jealousy isn’t evil. It’s human.

What if, instead of shaming ourselves for feeling jealous, we got curious about it?
Jealousy usually points us to something we deeply want but haven’t fully admitted yet.

So the next time you feel that twinge, ask yourself:

• What part of me feels left out or unseen?
• Is there a hidden desire here that I’ve been ignoring?
• Am I comparing my behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel?

Jealousy doesn’t make you a bad person. It just makes you honest. And once you’re honest with yourself, you can begin to move toward what you actually want—instead of just watching others have it.

 

 

Journaling: The Bridge Between the Two

 

Now, here’s where journaling comes in. Think of it as the bridge that connects jealousy to joy. It gives space to both. No judgment. No filters. Just a place to say the things we don’t say out loud.

When you’re confused about what you’re feeling, or when everything feels jumbled up—write. Not for perfection. Not for aesthetics. Just write.

Journaling helps you:

• Release bottled-up emotions
• Discover patterns in your thoughts
• Make space for gratitude, healing, and even new goals

And you don’t need a fancy notebook. Your Notes app works. A scrap of paper works. A voice note to yourself works too.

Start with prompts like:

• Today, I felt jealous when… and I think it’s because…
• One small thing that brought me joy this week was…
• Right now, I wish I could tell myself…

You’ll be surprised how much lighter you feel once it’s all out on paper.

A Little Joy, a Lot of Kindness

 

So here’s my reminder for today:

Let yourself feel the full range. Don’t rush your joy. Don’t hide your jealousy. And when in doubt—journal it out.

Mental health isn’t about pretending to be happy all the time. It’s about making space for every emotion, listening in, and learning what they’re trying to tell you. And sometimes, they just need a safe place to land—and your journal might just be that place.

 

See you tomorrow with the letter K. Until then, take a moment to smile, breathe, and maybe jot down something that your heart wants you to hear.

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