Why is it so Hard to Say Sorry?

 

When you apologize, you’re telling somebody that you’re sad for the harmed you caused, regardless of whether you didn’t do it intentionally. Individuals who are apologizing may likewise say that they will endeavor to improve the situation. They may guarantee to settle or supplant what was crushed or take spirit a mean thing they said. It is a necessary custom, a method for indicating appreciation and sympathy for the wronged individual. It is additionally a method for recognizing a demonstration that, if generally left unnoticed, sway off the relationship. Statement of regret can incapacitate others of their outrage and avert promote mistaken assumptions.

When you are to blame, you may expect that conceding a blunder is conceding shortcoming. Despite what might be expected, expressions of remorse are an indication of quality. Adversity is a chance to demonstrate your real nature.

Telling the harmed party that you know it was your blame, not theirs, encourages them to feel good, and it causes them to hide any hint of failure to confront. Apologizing helps repair connections by getting individuals talking once more, and makes them feel good with one another once more. Without a conciliatory sentiment, some relationship issues will rot and hazard degenerating into disdain. Saying “I’m sad” implies something else to various individuals, and we fluctuate in what we require from our accomplices in the wake of feeling hurt or sold out.

 

 

 

Venture on somebody’s toe in a swarmed lift, or knock up against them remaining in line, and as effortlessly as taking the following breath we say, “Gracious, I’m so sad.” So for what reason is it so intense to apologize when it truly matters? For what reason is apologizing so candidly laden in close to home and open life – between underwear toward one side and between countries at the other?

Government officials and religious pioneers are known for their non-statement of regret conciliatory sentiments. My very own most loved in this classification is “Whether I hurt anybody, I am genuinely sad.” Notice the “If” – the individual doesn’t know whether s/he’s harmed anybody, however, needs to cover his wagers and express a universally handy statement of regret. Ambiguous, broad and indistinct, this conciliatory sentiment recognizes no wrong activity, nor a specific casualty of the (obscure and unacknowledged) bad behavior, no lament (for what?) and no aim to change his/her conduct in any capacity later on.

A minor departure from this non-conciliatory sentiment subject is “Whether I hurt you, I’m sad.” This non-statement of regret is routed to a particular individual, however, the speaker doesn’t state or comprehend what he (she) did to cause the hurt and, thus, does not, without a doubt can’t offer to abstain from doing it once more.

Some non-expressions of remorse are much more terrible! There’s the “I’m sad you feel that way” or, in other words, a forceful method for saying, “screw you!” There are expressions of remorse that accuse the person in question, similar to Matt Lauer’s well-known tweet to an assistant: “Always endeavored to be pleasant, Mark. Sorry, you didn’t think so.”

The toxic substance at the core of numerous explanations that have all the earmarks of being expressions of remorse is the fatal “yet”, trailed by reasons or more terrible, e.g., “I’m sad I hurt you, however, you said those things that simply made me so frantic… “Sorry people that is no statement of regret.

An earnest expression of remorse recognizes a particular activity that caused hurt. It makes full duty regarding that move. It shows and communicates lament for the activity and its belongings. Whenever possible, it offers remuneration or change, amendment. What’s more, this present part’s essential: a genuine expression of remorse guarantees (and even finds a way to guarantee) that it won’t occur once more. For what reason is that so extreme?

Apologizing is troublesome on the grounds that it requires modesty.

Apologizing incidentally diminishes one’s confidence. The wrongdoer who apologizes yields some power, some control. Having reported their blemish and mistake, the guilty party is currently powerless. It takes modesty to make a genuine statement of regret, and for a few people, lowliness is simply too awkwardly near embarrassment.

You may think apologizing is weakening you but no it is making you stronger. But yes, when you are apologizing, make sure you are feeling it too.

 

Oh! By the way, narcissists never apologize.

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Author: Moni

A caffeinated Workaholic ✌

134 Replies to “Why is it so Hard to Say Sorry?”

    1. Saying sorry doesn’t make you little or down. It just shows how matured you are. Saying after a wrong deed is nice but are the actually genuine cause some just say it for saying sake. Nice write-up.

      1. I dont think apologizing makes us little or down. I think it has to more with being vulnerable with someone and admitting fault. Admitting that we hurt someone. Very good post. I found it fascinating. Cant wait to read more!

  1. Seeking forgiveness and apologizing is a beautiful way to restore a relationship and get things righted. It’s so important in life I believe. I have to say I love the new look of your site while I’m at it. It’s very cool!

  2. That is such an important topic. For some people it is very hard to face being wrong. For some people saying sorry is so very easy, this person can’t really feel anything behind it. the middle is golden. You post is making things with other people more clear to me

    1. Great content, very well said. Saying sorry is an act of maturity.. It was so hard to do that, but sometimes isolated situations occurs, some people says sorry and do the wrong thing over and over again which makes the word and action so non sense.

  3. This is something that needs to be talked about way more than it is. The importance of apologies has always been instilled in me but I never quite articulate it the way you did in that first paragraph, particular the part of how an apology can indicate appreciation. I’ve never seen it so eloquently put. I’m definitely going to have to share this!

  4. I generally apologize even when it’s not my mistake to hold up the relationships. I also believe we should not apologize unnecessarily all the time otherwise people will take us for granted and they won’t improve their mistakes. Experiences teach me 🙂

    1. It was really hard especially if you are an honest person, and you can’t admit that you are wrong. Some people can easily say this to deceive their significant others. Lmao.

  5. This was a great read! I have always had an issue apologizing, but I always do. Rather they feel better than my pride not get a little dirt on it.

  6. I always think it is ok to make mistake, we just have to acknowledge and admit we are wrong and say “sorry”. Be it to ourselves, to the people who we feel sorry for and move on. Sorry isn’t hard to say, we just have to practice and learn how to and get use to it.

    1. It’s hard, because it’s always gonna be hard to admit that you are wrong, and it is even harder if you know that you are right..😅

  7. For me apologizing takes practice and thought. I try to think of the consideration I would want to get, and give that in return. When I fall out of practice, it makes it harder to do when needed. Balance is key.

  8. A very insightful post. I hate non apologies. It’s worse than no apology because it minimises the hurt they’ve caused and that hurts you again.

  9. Saying sorry is so difficult. In a professional setting, I don’t find it difficult to apologize because I have ne real relation to those people. At home is a completely different story! I think what makes it so difficult for me to do at home is because those people actually mean something to me and I hold them close to my heart. But when it comes to people apologizing to me, I expect it! And I know that is super contradicting…I do my best to understand but some times it is difficult. Very insightful post. It really got me thinking!

  10. Great post! It’s very hard to say sorry and admit that you’re at fault especially in a relationship. But it can do wonders if everyone can learn to let go of their ego and seek for forgiveness

  11. This is such a great share of awareness and a great reminder to everyone. Honestly, I do feel lazy sometimes of doing my workouts but your article made me realize that I need and want to do this for me to have a healthy and happy lifestyle.

  12. I totally enjoyed reading this article. Saying sorry is really a hard thing to do but I’ve learned for my past experiences that saying sorry is very important because it helps us to learn from our mistakes and it helps restore and save our relationships.

  13. A simple apology can go so far when it comes to personal relationships. Great insights. It’s so important we teach our children to know when and how to show their vulnerabilities.

  14. Sorry is really a difficult word to say, but for me if you are matured enough to accept you are wrong, I think it is not a bitter pill to swallow.

  15. Saying sorry affects our pride really but you are correct that it makes us actually stronger after and wiser (definitely a sign of maturity). So hopefully more will see this. Nice job.

  16. For me sorry comes from the heart and not just saying the word but you mean it meaning not doing the same mistake again. This is a great insight. Thanks

  17. What a great way to view I’m Sorry. You have really gotten my thinking cap going. I try my best to say I’m sorry when I am wrong. It causes way too much hurt.

  18. Yes, saying sorry is hard it is the proof that we were wrong and we had done wrong. But apart from this an apology is the super-glue of life. It can repair just about anything

  19. I feel like I say sorry even when its not my fault!! Great post – very thought provoking.

  20. It takes a very strong person to be able to admit that they have done wrong and to apologize. I try to always remember this when I have problems or have made mistakes myself.

    1. It’s so true – apologizing does make us stronger. It allows for growth and establishing stronger connections. It can be hard to reflect and admit you were wrong. But it’s truly so important we allow ourselves to do that. Not only does it help heal the person we’re apologizing too, it allows us to heal too ♡. Thank you for sharing!

  21. I’ve gotten so much better at apologizing when I became better at reconizing my faults. I don’t have to win all the time. It’s has saved me so much headache and it’s funny seeing how quickly a situation deescalates when the other person hears I’m sorry when they’re expecting something different

  22. apologizing is hard; i sometimes do when i don’t feel like it just to smooth things over, and while i don;t feel happy at that moment because i am maybe still mad :), it is always worth it to admit when we’re wrong..

  23. Saying sorry and realizing your are wrong and apologizing for that is not always the same thing. I often misuse sorry. When I feel one person is pissed on me I tend to say ‘I’m sorry’ even though deeply I am not sorry, I just want things to go back to normal.

  24. I think sometime people miss what sorry really does. To me it acknowledges the feelings of the other person. I mean, if you hurt someone’s feelings and they tell you, just apologize. I’m sure people say things that they don’t necessarily mean in a way to offend someone.

  25. I will agree with you completely.

    It’s really hard to say sorry, Even if we know that we are wrong somewhere or the other.

    Very nicely written from the heart.

  26. Very good post. It is uncomfortable to have to say you are sorry. However, if you lwant to maintain good relationships, you must do it at times. You will also feel better about yourself if you are honest and vulnerable in your relationships. Thank you for sharing.

  27. This is really awesome to read! I used to apologize for EVERYTHING and now I don’t and it’s made everything so much better!!

  28. I actually have NO problem saying sorry but I don’t say it often at all because I am not really sorry for anything I do. I am a generally nice person who does good things, so my actions don’t warrant sorries.

  29. So many people struggle with the words “I’m sorry.” I’ve never understood why people view it as a weakness.

  30. Wonderful post, It is a great topic to cover. Sometimes it can be easy to apologize and other times it can be quite hard depending on what is going on.

  31. I think we don’t like to look weak/wrong in front of the other person/admit we are wrong/they are right. But really, it takes a strong person to be able to own their mistakes, admit wrong, and seek out forgiveness

  32. I think pride really gets in the way where apologies are concerned. People feel stupid having to admit they’re wrong so, they just try to ignore it.

  33. I find that the only time I really have trouble with saying I’m sorry is when I believe the other person should be apologizing too but that I’m working with someone who will not (often the narcissistic types). Not because I’m upset that I’m not getting an apology, but because I know those types use it as evidence of their superiority. Still, I do what I know is right and apologize. I just know that it will be more important then than ever to keep those people at a distance from me.

  34. Saying sorry does not make anyone smaller than the other person. I am always the one to say sorry when I do something wrong !

  35. I think a lot of people have a hard time saying they are sorry because it means admitting you were wrong. But no ones perfect so apologies, like mistakes, are a part of life.

  36. I totally understand the feeling of having difficulty saying sorry. But my husband basically REFUSES to say sorry — and that feels awful (also, he’s the (only and oldest child) son of a narcassist).

  37. i think it’s also because Apologizing can make some people feel vulnerable, or feel like they are in danger of losing their power and status. But this is so wrong. Being apologetic in a way is a SUPERPOWER!

  38. Some people having hard time to say it because of they are not brave enough to admit their fault, and always think of what others will say – thus afraid of losing face.
    But most of the time, saying sorry and be man-up to admit it, is the best thing to do.

  39. Very insightful post. It takes a lot of courage to say sorry, but once you do it its so liberating.

  40. Saying sorry shows a level of maturity and humility. Saying I’m sorry isn’t something I throw around lightly. If I feel deeply apologetic, then I say I’m sorry

  41. This posts really was a great read. I’m one that says sorry entirely too much even when I was wrong. I just hate confrontation, but I’ve always been sitting around wondering why the other person couldn’t just find the will to apologize to me.

  42. Apologizing is hard because it’s also admitting that you were wrong. Some people, no matter what, can’t concede that they’ve wronged a person. I often find that being the wronged one, I end up apologizing, letting the the other person off the hook.

    1. It was really hard to admit that we are wrong. Even if we already know to ourselves that we’ve done something wrong, it is hard to swallow your pride and apologize.

  43. I feel like the only reason my husband and I can work through years of marriage is that we are both willing to apologize. It makes all the difference!

  44. This is a great post! Most of us like to be the recipient of a heartfelt apology, but giving is different from receiving. There are many reasons why saying “I’m sorry” is such a challenging endeavor. First of all, who likes to admit they’re wrong? It’s NOT fun!

  45. It is so hard to apologize for something you did wrong. I have be honest, but I am one of those who find it difficult. I would rather show I am sorry through deed. Thank you for writing this post. It really made me think about changing that aspect of my life.

  46. Great summarization as to why many people are adverse to apologizing. I have always taught my kids that it is better to apologize than to hide and avoid the issue or to lie about it.

  47. When someone says “I’m sorry you feel that way” I feel like they are saying “oh well. Too bad. Suck it up and deal with it”.

  48. I think I’m one of those people who has a hard time saying sorry. It’s the same with saying I love you for me.

  49. This was a great topic, personally I find it hard to apologize, thinking to myself was I the one to blame for an argument or disagreement. This totally changed the way I look at it.

  50. For many people seems to be hard to say sorry. For me apologise is not a big drama, everyone can do mistakes

  51. Apologizing is difficult for a lot of people. In my experience with watching others, it seems like it’s an issue of the ego getting in the way.

  52. I think sometimes the ego gets in the way of trying to apologize. There are always excuses not to say I’m sorry but I think it’s a beautiful state to be in when you can and be vulnerable. Great post.

  53. Swallowing our pride can be a very tough thing to do. The release of an apology is much more worth it though.

  54. I think apologizing and admitting your wrongs is a great stride in self awareness. Also, loved your comment about narcissits, dealing with on of those in my life right now and you’re not wrong!!

  55. So many people struggle with saying they’re sorry. Then they have people that just say it without meaning it. I think it takes a strong person to say sorry and ask for forgiveness and mean it!

  56. Apologizing leaves a person in a state of vulnerability, and that’s a space many people don’t feel comfortable going to. Even I’ve struggled with saying sorry at times. It’s like I just don’t want to swallow my pride or like I’m admitting defeat. I tell you, I always feel like a better person when i do, though.

  57. I’m so glad you address this subject because it is suc a delicate one. I am a person that always tries to recompose connection with people that hurts me, and I have ended up apologizin for things that’ve been done to me. My therapist and me are working on it, but it is a terrible thing to be hurt and carry with the guilt of it.

  58. Such an important topic and great with all this background and thoughts. But could not agree more… saying I am sorry is daring and not making you weaker but stronger. The more you practice the better you will get at it!

  59. Saying sorry is definitely a very hard thing to do especially when you wrongfully hurt someone. I do agree that it’s the only way to repair the connection. It used to be so hard for ne but now I am more than willing to admit mistakes.

  60. The only reason that saying sorry becomes hard is because of pride. When you learn to let go of your pride, saying sorry actually becomes really easy. I wish a lot more people would read this and learn from it.

  61. Sometimes I want to make sincere apologize. But not all the times people would accept that. That makes feel bad. This sometimes leads to a less communication situation.

  62. It is so important to be able to apologize. I truly believe it is something that must be learned from childhood.

  63. It absolutely takes a strong person to admit when they were wrong and wronged someone. I see it in my children too that they have a hard time saying I’m sorry fo something as simple as bumping into someone. Why is it so difficult to admit a wrong?

  64. I say sorry all the time.My friends get mad at me. I think its because I spent my whole life feeling like a burden or unwanted.

  65. totally hman nature for sure! sorry is sometimes really hard to say especially when you feel like you don’t need to!

  66. This is such an interesting post! Yes, I agree that apologizing doesn’t mean that we are weak. And I also agree that we need to mean it when we say sorry, instead of simply throwing such word to make us look/feel better. ~ Ola @ WanderWithOla

  67. I am a typical Brit and apologise too much, but it is important that you say sorry when you are in the wrong

  68. This was a really insightful post. I think a lot of people struggle to say sorry because it means they have to admit they are wrong – and many people don’t like to do that. I am one of those people who apologises too much though.

  69. Important topic! It is important to apologize because of the benefits for both you and the person you are apologizing to. However, if you don’t believe you were wrong, it might be best to not give an insecure apology. People can tell and it can cause more problems.

  70. Some people do think apologizing is weak but I totally thinks the opposite. You should face head on to any problems and move on. Great post!

  71. I love the closing remark on narcissists! lol! But yes, apologizing seems so hard at times… it’s an interesting concept… when really, it should be about making amends and feeling better in the process!

  72. I think in general, it’s hard for most to apologize but in the end it’s the right thing to do when you’re in the wrong for sure. And same goes with the other party.

  73. Very intresting post on a very important subject. We are thought that showing saddnes or saying sorry is a sign of weeknes. It is not. So we do need break that.

  74. Loved your ideas they are really very deep and meaningful…Indeed true it is really very hard to say sorry for what you did wrong but it is even more difficult when you haven’t done anything wrong and still you have to say sorry..people are not wrong just situation matters…Thanks for sharing an amazing post..🙂

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