Some days back I had shared a very amateur write-up that I had written in 2015. As I was going through the story last week before posting it and today I was re-reading it, it reminded me of my recent painful experience. Both are not connected but still.
Z left on 10th June 2020, it hasn’t been long. When I was with him (you know who), I used to write snippets. Mostly based on real incidents. I had thought many times of leaving him but as it is always said that ’empaths form a trauma bond due to which it is hard for them to leave a narcissist’, similar was the case with me. I also found some old paintings I had made.
I know I am being an idiot for not letting it go but trust me I am trying. I had Major Depressive Disorder once and I feel it is back. I had lost my parents at a pretty young age and I had always believed that if you put your full focus on work (being a workaholic) it will help you cope with it. It always had. I do have very fewer friends because the maximum people who claimed to be my friend have backstabbed me, took advantage of me for being good to them, stole from me due to which I have trust issues. I am only talkative when I am close to a person else I hate talking.
I often wonder, why is it hard so hard to let go of toxic people?